DNJ – More Nomad News From Nowhere. Issue 18.

Hello. How are you? I’m good thanks. Yeah, the weather is nice for this time of year. Er…… Shall we just get this started? Ok, here we go.

Where to find a job?
Oh and over here.
This one might help too.
Slim pickings here a bit but it’s OK.
And fifth times a charm.

What to read?
I’m not quite sure how I have not come across this website before but it looks pretty cool. Join Armando and Melony as they digitally nomad their way around the world in their van, Mork. Apparently, he is part of the family, which is nice. I guess. Also, the website is called Westfalia Digital Nomads and, as someone who has never read nor watched anything based in the mythical world that Mr George R. R. Martin has created*, Westfalia kind of sounds like it might belong there. ”Dragons, boobs, Sean Bean, the horrible blonde kid that everyone hates, Westfalia.” Anyway, you can click the link and decide for yourself here.
I’m more of a ‘Willow’ kind of guy.
Willow: See this acorn? I’ll throw it at you and turn you to stone!
Madmartigan: Ooh, I’m really scared. No! Don’t! There’s a- a peck here with an acorn pointed at me!

Insurance is not really an exciting topic of conversation. Unless you’re an insurance broker, but even then, C’mon, it can’t be that cosmic?! Unfortunately as the world seems to increase it’s quota of buffoons daily you’ll never know when one of them might poke you in the eye with a ‘selfie stick’ or trip you over whilst lying on the floor trying to get a ”100% original angle take of the leaning tower of Pisa”. If you don’t want to take the risk of being an insurance free digital nomad you can read this article. You might get a few ideas on where to shop and what to buy.

This is a difficult one. How do you follow-up an article about insurance? With a video about tax considerations. Yeah, that’s how we roll here at DNJ, blowing minds once a week/fortnight since, er, a few months ago! So, without further ado, here it is. Tax considerations for digital nomads.

Female digital nomads is a website for female digital nomads. I just went on it though and I am not a female. I guess I am some sort of criminal or someone who sees past gender! Either way, it’s a pretty cool website and I think it’s useful to everyone so stop being such sexist pigs and open it up to all genders yeah*?!
That is 100% a joke. Well, I am all for the equality part but I certainly don’t really think you are sexist pigs. I just used that to try to garner a cheap laugh. It might have worked, it might not have but you’ve always got to try eh?

I still haven’t taken the plunge and gotten a new laptop yet. I am still winding this one up and praying I can type quickly enough to get 9 words down before the battery starts to fade. When the battery does fade I have to use my other ‘hand-me-down’ laptop which seems to get hotter than the sun. I don’t like getting hot wrists and I’m not entirely convinced I won’t electrocute myself on it. I really should consider getting a new one. I might look here.

This is a pretty cool blog with various travel stories and tips on it. It’s called The Ramble. I don’t have anything funny to say about it. I would have tried to think of something but I’d only have ended up writing a whole load of nothingness desperately trying to get to some form of vague punchline out of it. I’d have spent far too long trying to think of a way to get anything, absolutely anything remotely amusing out of this and I’d have just ended up rambling on {insert tumbleweed here}.

What to read from The Guardian?
Volunteer on St Kilda. It sounds brilliant. Although it’s not free. It’s actually really quite expensive and incredibly busy. Still looks cool mind. If you like the idea of volunteering you really should read the article for more information.

10 of the best………. Contemporary art spaces in South East Asia. I once knew a guy that would bring up the fact he had been to South East Asia absolutely any time he could. It was really bad. Think along the lines of
‘What’s that amazing song from the 80’s you are listening to and who sang it? A Little Respect by Erasure you say, that reminds me of the time I was in South East Asia.’
It works best if you say it out loud.

If you go down to Hokkaido today, you’re sure of a big surprise,
If you go down to Hokkaido today you better go in disguise!
For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain
Because today’s the day the
teddy bears have their picnic.
Well some of them will be. Probably. If you would like to read about brown bear spotting in a camper van on a volcano you know what to do here.

Google street view just landed in the Faroe Islands and now I would like to land there.

Where to go?
High Aldwin: [throws an apple into the air which turns into a bird] Go in the direction the bird is flying!
Burgelcutt: He’s going back to village!
High Aldwin: Ignore the bird. Follow the river.

Paris, France. (Yes or no: Oui/Non)

Quito, Ecuador. (Yes or no: Si/No)

Wales, er, Wales. (Yes or no: Ie/Na)

Estonia, Estonia. (Yes or no: Jah/Ei)

What to eat?
Kidney bean curry. It’s delicious, it’s kind to the animals and it’s healthy.

Deep fried breaded mushrooms. They’re delicious, kind to the animals but not that healthy.

Meat Lovers’ Supreme Pizza. It’s delicious, it hates animals, the only thing it hates more than the animals is you. You and your arteries. This pizza will make you heavier. On the plus side, if you eat too many of them you won’t have to worry about being fat for too long. You will be dead. Still, it is very tasty.

What to drink?
Choose one of the following options:
Option 1.
‘Yes, it’s Friday, that means that it’s nearly Saturday. I love Saturdays, the early morning jog to the gym, the healthy salad lunch, a small glass of wine with my perfectly balanced dinner. Brilliant.’

Option 2.
‘TFI Friday. That week was rubbish. At last, I have 2 days to do whatever I want. Probably going to have a nice long lie in tomorrow, then I might go and watch a movie. Just kill some time until I’m out on the town with my mates and a kebab. Brilliant.’

If you chose option 1 you should probably just have a cup of tea, maybe with a squeeze of lemon in it. Enjoy. If you really want to tear it up you can follow one of my very own special non-alcoholic cocktail recipes.
Tom’s tropical citrus punch.
Step 1. Pour lemonade into glass. Step 2. Add some orange juice. Step 3. Drink it.
Purity – A drink by Thomas Rogers.
Step 1. Get a glass and go to sink. Step 2. Turn on the tap and fill the glass. Step 3. Drink it.
N.B. Purity can be drunk both hot and cold. It’s a very versatile drink.

If you chose option 2, I like you, we could probably be friends. I suggest we keep things simple with a classic whiskey highball or if it’s a little adventure you’re after a Moscow Mule.

What to listen to?

What else?
Not a lot really. A few people have been in touch with us using the new contact form and that is pretty cool. Always nice to hear from other people. So you can jump on that bandwagon if you like, just click the tab and fill out the form and I’ll get back to you ASAP.

We are still selling the great guide by JM Cooper ‘Freelance Launch – How to Start Your Freelance Career From Scratch’ for the amazingly cheap price of $6.99. You can buy that by clicking the link here. I should just point out again that I AM NOT JM Cooper. The book you’ll be getting is written by someone far more competent at sentence construction and basically writing than I am! The book makes a lot more sense than this ‘written matter’ that I bash out randomly.

You can Facebook us, Tweet us or Pinterest us* at the usual places. Take it easy, have a cosmic weekend.
*By us I mean me. Als,o several thousand of you seem to like us on the Facebook. I am eternally grateful to you all. If I can just bamboozle about 60 more of you I’ll have reached 5,000 and that is pretty freaking great. Cheers to you all and yes, I am aware that it is mainly the pictures of the cat that you are all interested in. I’ll do you all a collage when/if we reach the magic 5,000.

Adieu, adieu. To you and you and you. xx